Building Sexual Confidence and Reducing Anxiety: The Somatic Approach

For many men, sexual confidence isn’t something that comes naturally. Anxiety around sexual performance, body image, and intimacy can often be overwhelming. The pressure to "perform" in certain ways, combined with societal expectations around masculinity, can lead to stress, dissatisfaction, and emotional disconnection. However, there is a way to address these anxieties that doesn’t involve just talking through the issues or pushing through the discomfort – it involves coming back into your body. This is where somatic sex therapy & counselling can play a crucial role in helping men build sexual confidence and reduce anxiety.

At Body Curious, we offer an approach to sex therapy that centres on reconnecting with the body, helping you feel more present, grounded, and confident in your own skin.

The Source of Sexual Anxiety in Men

Sexual anxiety in men often stems from a few core concerns:

• Fear of not meeting performance expectations

• Worries about appearance or body image

• Difficulties maintaining emotional or physical intimacy

• Shame related to past sexual experiences or trauma

These anxieties are usually reinforced by a disconnection from the body. Many men are conditioned to approach sex as a goal-oriented activity, measuring success by external factors such as erection or orgasm, rather than being in touch with their internal experience. This disconnect can cause even more stress, further exacerbating feelings of inadequacy or anxiety.

How Somatic Sex Therapy Can Help

Somatic sex therapy focuses on bringing awareness to the body’s sensations, helping you to experience sexuality in a more embodied and relaxed way. At Body Curious, we work with a range of practices that encourage you to notice and allow your body’s responses, ultimately leading to greater sexual confidence and emotional well-being. Here are some ways that somatic therapy can help:

1. Reconnecting with Sensation
   Sexual anxiety often stems from a lack of connection with physical sensations. Somatic practices guide you to tune into your body, encouraging a mindful awareness of how your body feels rather than focusing on external expectations. This shift can help break the cycle of anxiety by keeping you present in the moment.

2. Regulating the Nervous System
   Anxiety, including sexual anxiety, is rooted in how the nervous system responds to stress. Through body-based techniques such as breathwork, movement, and touch, somatic therapy can help regulate the nervous system, reducing the fight-or-flight response that often accompanies sexual performance concerns.

3. Improving Body Confidence
   Somatic sex therapy isn’t just about sex – it’s about learning to feel comfortable in your own skin. By exploring how your body moves and responds, you can develop a more positive relationship with your physical self. This body confidence naturally translates into sexual confidence, as you feel more at ease with your body during intimate moments.

Part of this process involves enjoying the pleasure of your body, not just in a sexual sense, but in everyday moments. By developing the ability to tune into pleasurable sensations, such as the warmth of sunlight on your skin or the satisfaction of a deep breath, you begin to form a deeper, more appreciative connection with your body. This pleasure-based awareness can create positive associations and rewire how you think about and experience your body.

1. Reframing Sexual Performance
   One of the core shifts in somatic therapy is moving away from the idea of sexual performance as a "task" that needs to be accomplished. Instead, it’s about being present with yourself and your partner. This reframing can alleviate the pressure many men feel, as the focus shifts to connection, pleasure, and presence rather than achieving specific outcomes.

2. Healing Through Embodied Practices
   For men who have experienced past sexual trauma or shame, somatic therapy offers a safe and supportive way to process these experiences. Through embodied practice, the body can release stored tension or trauma, allowing for healing without needing to "talk through" everything. This approach can feel more accessible and less overwhelming for many men.

The Power of Neural Plasticity in Somatic Therapy

One of the most exciting aspects of somatic sex therapy is how it can rewire the brain’s neural pathways. The brain is incredibly adaptable, a concept known as neuroplasticity, which means that new experiences, particularly positive ones, can change the way the brain processes information. This is particularly relevant when it comes to overcoming sexual anxieties and building confidence.

Through repeated positive, embodied experiences, such as those found in somatic practices, the brain can start to associate sexuality with feelings of relaxation, pleasure, and confidence, rather than stress and performance pressure. Over time, these positive experiences "re-fire" neural pathways in a way that strengthens a more confident, self-assured response to sexual situations. As old patterns of anxiety and fear are replaced with new pathways that prioritise ease and pleasure, lasting change can occur in how you approach your sexual and intimate life.

By consistently engaging in somatic practices, you are effectively retraining your brain to experience sexuality in a healthier, more positive way. This shift not only improves your mental health but can also lead to deeper, more fulfilling relationships and sexual experiences.

Building Confidence Through Practice

Building sexual confidence is not an overnight process, but somatic sex therapy provides tools that you can integrate into your daily life. These practices can help you become more attuned to your body and its signals, helping you feel more secure, confident, and relaxed in sexual situations.

Some practical steps you can take to start the journey include:

• Mindful Breathing: Practice deep, slow breaths to calm the nervous system. When you feel anxious, this can help bring you back into your body and away from the "noise" of anxious thoughts.

• Body Awareness: Spend a few moments each day simply noticing how your body feels. This could be while stretching, moving, or just sitting quietly. Building awareness of your body in non-sexual situations will help you remain present during intimate moments, allowing you to also appreciate the pleasure of being in your body.

• Explore Touch: Engage in touch-based practices that allow you to connect with your own body in a non-judgmental way. This could be as simple as massaging your own hands or arms or mindfully exploring your body without focusing on arousal.

Seeking Support at Body Curious

At Body Curious, our somatic sex therapist and counsellor Jonn is here to guide you through these practices, offering a supportive, safe and non-judgmental space to explore your relationship with your body, sexuality, and mental health. Whether you're looking to overcome sexual anxiety, improve body confidence, or experience greater pleasure with sex, intimacy and pleasure, we are here to help you on that journey.

By connecting with your body, you can experience intimacy and sex with more ease, confidence, and pleasure, while also reducing the mental and emotional burden of anxiety. Somatic sex therapy offers a powerful pathway to sexual confidence, helping men reclaim their sexuality and overall sense of well-being.

Contact Body Curious to learn more about how our somatic sex therapy and counselling can support you on this journey.

Complimentary pre-session consultation and appointments 0416 012 862

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